âWant to hang out at my place?â
âYou should come over!â
A guy youâve been texting or hanging out with is asking you to come over to his place.
It should be simple to reply, right?
Wrong!
Deciding to go over to a guyâs place for the first time comes with a ton of stress and a multitude of questions.
Do you really want to go to his place? What happens if you say no? Will you hurt his feelings by rejecting him? How do you even respond?Â
If you donât know how to react in this situation, donât worry!Â
Hereâs how to make your decision and reply to a guy saying âcome overâ.Â
Decide if you want to to go to his place
The very first thing to do is to ask yourself if you want to go to his place.
Do you know him well enough to be alone with him? Does he make you feel safe? Does he live with roommates or his parents? If things do get sexual, are you emotionally ready for that next step?
These are all things you need to consider before you respond.Â
Consider your relationship statusÂ
The next step is to consider your relationship with this guy.
Do you know him well? Are you officially dating or just flirting? Is your relationship one-sided, or do you both feel the same way? Are you catching feelings for him, or is it a physical thing?
You should consider all these things before you respond. If not, you might end up making a decision that will hurt you in the long run.Â
Set boundaries and expectationsÂ
When you go over to a guyâs place one of two things could happen â you could hook up, or you could simply spend time together.
If you decide to go over to a guyâs place, itâs important that you decide beforehand what you are comfortable with so that you can set expectations and boundaries with him.
While there tends to be a societal expectation to âNetflix-and-chill,â donât let that impact your decision!
You can still have a good time hanging out on the couch getting to know each other, watching a movie, listening to music, or having a nice meal.
Whatever you choose to do, always make sure to be safe.
Stay away from drugs and alcohol to ensure that you are both in the right mindset to establish consent.
If you feel uncomfortable or uneasy in any way, trust your instincts and put your safety first! Say ânoâ, get a friend or family member to call you with a fake excuse, and get away from him as quickly as possible.Â
How to respond to a text from a guy saying âcome overâ
So youâve asked yourself all the tough questions, thought things through, and decided that you want to go over to his place.
The next step is to reply to his text.
You shouldnât feel rushed to give him an answer. Take the time you need to decide what you want to say, just make sure you do reply to him at some point rather than ghosting him.
If you want to hang out at his place, here are some examples of how you could respond to his text message:
âSure, that sounds like fun!â
âIâd love to come overâ
âYes sure đâÂ
âCool, what time suits?â
It can also be a good idea to set his expectations and let him know your boundaries when replying to his text message.
âSure I can come to your place, but I just want to hang outâ
âYes I can come over, but just so you know, Iâm not ready for anything yetâ
âIâm happy to hang out at your place as long as you donât have any expectationsâ
If youâre still not 100% sure that you want to go to his house or apartment, you can ask him some questions before making a decision.
âWhat would we do at your place?â
âMaybe, would it just be the two of us?â
âWhat are you expecting if I come to your place?â
âHmm Iâm not sure, what would we do?â
If you donât want to go to his place
Letting someone down is always hard but sometimes necessary.
Whether you donât feel comfortable being alone with him, think that itâs too soon, or youâre just not in the mood, you should honor your thoughts and feelings and share them with him.
You have the right to trust your instincts, establish boundaries, and say no.Â
How to say ânoâ
The word ânoâ can sometimes come off as cruel or insensitive, but you can always respond more softly if you donât want to hurt his feelings.
Here are some ways you could respond if he asks you to come over:
âIâd rather hang out somewhere else, do you want to go to _____â
âIâd like to get to know you a bit better before I go over to your placeâ
âIâm not ready for that yet, I hope you understand!â
âThanks for asking but Iâm not comfortable going over to someoneâs place when I havenât known them for that longâ
Let him know what youâre thinking and why you donât want to come over. Honesty is a virtue and it will help better your relationship in the long run.
A good guy will respect your boundaries and wait until youâre ready to go to the next level.Â
Block, block, block
Sometimes you donât see a personâs true colors until things donât go exactly their way.
If he acts like a jerk when you tell him ânoâ, itâs a giant red flag.
If he gets angry, throws a tantrum, ignores your attempts at communication, or tries to guilt you into coming over, take it as a warning sign that heâs not the right guy for you.
If you feel threatened, remember that you have the power to remove him from your life. A simple click of the block button should take care of the issue.Â
Itâs hard to decide whether or not you want to hang out at a guyâs place and itâs difficult to know what to say when a guy sends you a text saying âcome overâ.
Itâs completely your choice whether you want to have a little fun with a guy or stay at home.
The bottom line is to take your time to think about it, say yes if you want to go, say no if you donât, and always speak your mind.
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Is âHey Youâ Flirty And How To Reply To A âHey Youâ Text From A Guy
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